It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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