areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
