he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
