tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
