So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
