i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
