i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
50% drunk capacity currently
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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