I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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