I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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