it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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