Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
