I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
