Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
