is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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