im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
