Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
