RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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