i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
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