You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
