i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
