Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
