You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
