My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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