god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
