omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize