I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
