remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize