new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
