so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
