I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
