Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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