Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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