doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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