Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
either way he was missing a nipple.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
