I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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