Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
