I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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