She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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