imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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