whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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