i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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