Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize