You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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