So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
