my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
