I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
