i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm getting married
To pizza
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
