And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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