I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize