U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
She even gives head with a lisp.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Panties = found
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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