We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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