You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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