Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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