Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
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