I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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