Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
