I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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