you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
