Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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