I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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