Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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