He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
