Are we in a gay sports bar?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
