he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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